Twas The Night Before Star Wars

Twas the night before Star Wars,
And all through the house,
Everyone was clearly on edge,
Due to Ep 9 from the mouse.

The internet was ready,
To have its knickers in a twist,
After 2 years of bitching,
They were primed to be pissed.

They whined about Force Awakens,
Screaming and running for mace!
Rian Johnson made Last Jedi,
And they spit in his face!

Rogue One got to slide by,
They did not bitch very much.
Solo wasn’t nearly as lucky,
They cried worse and such.

“My childhood, you raped it!” They sure loved to scream.
All the while not realizing they had turned into a meme.

The dark side was winning,
This seemed perfectly clear.
No one knew how to fix it,
We’d hear whining all next year.

But all had forgotten a most spectacular fact…
Come February of next year,
The Clone Wars is back!

Trust in Dave Filoni,
Use The Mando as proof!
That truth alone should have you through the roof.

And so The Rise of Skywalker has come now,
But please do keep this in mind,
Many folks are sure to love it,
So don’t act like the middle of a great big behind.

Now as our tale nears its end,
There’s something I must say.
Don’t be a cunt tomorrow,
No spoilers on opening day!

Love it or hate it,
This you can’t do.
You must act like Jedi,
Not akin to poodoo.