Episode 062: You Can Suckle At My Left Nut

In thi20180825_183555s episode, after last episode’s abrupt ending and a few days off, the fellas are back to finish talking about Fitz’s trip to Wizard World Chicago!

We start with an intro from Colonel Brian “Q” Quinn (story coming in ep 64), then dive back in head first to the seedy underbelly of paying for sketches, Star Wars artists being charming shitbags, and gay pirate recruitment.

The best stores to get blown in are debated, more Foley details get revealed, less taco stories surface, Indiana Jones is beautiful, and somebody has an attitude problem all in this snappy ep of your favorite unknown dillhole show, so enjoy and tell your friends!

URL: Episode 062: You Can Suckle At My Left Nut
Direct Download: tnb062.mp3

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Episode 061: Awwwww COME ON!

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In this episode, the fellas are back getting slapped in the face and kicked in the nuts by real life in this short but fun episode.

Fitz tells his portly partner a proud parable of professional pugilists and procurement of signatures and such at a gathering of pop-culture celebration and fun.

Jokes are told, balls are busted, laughs are had, and revelations are made in this episode that is brought to a stunning conclusion in record time, so buckle up for the ride and enjoy!

URL: Episode 061: Awwwww COME ON!
Direct Download: tnb061.mp3

Episode 060: That’s What My Grandpa Used To Call Me

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In this episode, the fellas are being all energetic and what not as they start off talkin’ about drive-ins and blowjobs.

Doofy Doomy is all aquiver cause Dan Shamble is a step closer to reaching screens, Lewis & Clark find a whore, and Mr. Fity man gets new spectacles for his peeper parts!

Doom reviews a movie he saw, Fitz goes to a con and reviews a movie he saw, then the fellas get some fire DP going in a tiny box in duh foocher!

Buckle up and enjoy the ride as they done bout ta start talkin’ some fun shit, alright now…bye!

URL: Episode 060: That’s What My Grandpa Used To Call Me
Direct Download: tnb060.mp3

Episode 057: My Wife’s Dead, Wanna See A Fat Kid?

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In this Episode, the fellers are uh-talkin’ about some stuff they done seen on TV and in the Movie Theaters recently (yay!) and all of the randomness you know and love us for.

Doom brings a Pimp Spot and Fitz got a funny book for humping years ago, then they dive into movie reviews starting with a flick Doom saw last year called IT!

Also, Doom saw Deadpool 2 and gives a spoiler free review, which Fitz follows up with an Incredible review 2…ya see, he saw Incredibles 2 with his family, so that’s why I said that…get it?…I’m sure ya did…anyway, hope you enjoy the Ep, BYE!

URL: Episode 057: My Wife’s Dead, Wanna See A Fat Kid?
Direct Download: tnb057.mp3

Tough Shit Review

If you are a fan of Kev Smith, you’ve probably read this book already, maybe even multiple times.
Or maybe you were like me, a huge fan of Kev but somehow this book just kept slipping through your grasp for one reason or another.
Either way, that’s okay.
As with much of Kev’s work, it’s always there, like a warm hug ready to engulf you in its loving embrace.

We try not to talk too much about Kev because in podcasting it gets a bit tiresome and redundant because EVERYBODY does it, but the gloves are off, it’s all gonna hang out here, gang.
If you haven’t guessed…yeah, this is gonna be one of THOSE reviews, just a slobbering suck off of Kwigleeuh proportions.

Now, I’ll be honest with you, about 85-90% of this book is shit you’ve heard Kev say on a stage or in a podcast 3 or 4 times.
But, much like your favorite band that tries to sling new songs at you or a comedian that wants to work new material, you’re not gonna be pissed if they just stick to the hits.
Think about it, were most people ever like “fuck me, here comes Carlin with this 7 Dirty Words shit again.”?
No, folks wanted him to continue using that bit, but he took it as far as he could and left it behind.
Kev did the same here, he collects the hits and, though he still told some of these stories after, he didn’t bang the drum on them all forever.
And not for nothing, but presenting it in a new medium actually makes these stories feel fresh again.
That’s a great thing about him too!

With podcasts we have hundreds (if not thousands) of hours of his voice, he’s done 6 Stand-Up esque specials, countless interviews, so while reading this book you hear him more clearly in your head than most writers.
It feels more like he’s creepily whispering the stories of Cop Out, Red State, and SouthWest in your ear, hot breath on your neck, caressing your moob, and squeezing it ever so slig…maybe that’s just me…um, anywho!
It feels like he’s telling the tales directly to you, is my point!

Part of that 10-15% that you’ve not heard is painstaking detail about an incident with an unruly mega star on the Cop Out set (3 guesses who!), the inner workings of pulling off Sundance and the road show details of Red State, and then the general inspirational shit that he sorta says all the time but is presented in a fresh way.
The blow by blow account of the SouthWest incident and media bias against tubby fucks (like myself) is painful to read, but true.
Mocking fat people is still one of the only socially accepted, and in some cases encouraged, form of prejudice.
The theater and denial involved are just disgusting and, though he has lost a lot of weight since his heart attck, this particular albatross is forever around his neck as some folks still see him as that fat guy that tried flying.

He devotes a lot of time to SModcast and the creation of the SModcast Podcast Network, specifically TESD and how that turned into the Comic Book Men (RIP), his family and friends, love and relationships of all sorts, and passion, but the chapter that really, truly, brings the house down is the chapter on Carlin and Carnegie.
The story of his Dad bringing him the albums, meeting with George for Dogma, rocking one of the grandest stages of them all, and turning that into creative fuel is gold.

The bottom line is this: Kev knows how to spin a yarn.
Most chapters easily flow into the next with an ease that makes it hard to not read 50 to 100 pages at a clip.
This is the 1st book he’s truly written (the others were just collected material never intended to go together) and it’s a great 1st outing.
The thing this makes me most excited for though is the day Smitty decides he wants to write a novel.
Because this proves, without a shadow of a doubt, that he could do it better than most.
And I’m happier than a pig in shit that he’s still around to potentially do it.
If you are a fan, don’t wait as long as I have to check this out.
It is more than worth it.

TNB Commentaries 019: UHF (B-Movie May!)

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Please turn off your cellphones and join the fellas as they head for U-62 and the weird and wacky finale of the hit marketing campaign, B-Movie May!

For our 19th commentary, we take over the deed to the station in this 1989 classic starting Weird Al Yankovic, Michael Richards, & Fran Drescher! Doom is half asleep, Fitz is home alone, and they both are having fun as they say goodbye to this month of cheese and crappers.

Remember, if you dug this month, let us know and we’ll be sure to do it again next year.

But for now, enjoy the show, gang!

URL: TNB Commentaries 019: UHF (B-Movie May!)
Direct Download:tnbc-019-uhf.mp3

This has been a feature of TS-D/JA Productions and JJ2E Media 2017

Dan Shamble, Zombie P.I.: Tastes Like Chicken Review

The Unnatural Quarter was changing, that was certain.
But the more it changed, the more it stayed the same.
I don’t think I’d have it any other way.

Those are the last 3 sentences of this book, and they ring true for this universe in a big bad way.

Let’s get this out of the way at the top, this is gonna be a suckfest.
I’m not quite sure if I mean in the Vampire sense or…anywhooo…uh, where was I?
Oh yeah!
My love for this series, these characters, and this world has been made crystal clear over the last 13 months and 4 days (yes, I keep track and looked) that it has taken me to read all 6 books and the comic.
I have not hated a single installment in the tales of Dan, Robin, Sheyenne, and McGoo that I’ve gotten my hands on.
I’ll even go a step further and say that at this point I’m damn skippy this is my favorite book series I have read.
It is that damn GOOD!

This is your official ***SPOILER WARNING*** as we dive in deep on this newest chapter in the adventures of Dan and Co.

The action starts early as Dan and McGoo are chasing down a murderous demon from the 5th pit of hell, and though that sounds like a world ending plot, this book reigns it in after the cataclysmic story that was Slimy Underbelly.
This is a more personal outing, a true buddy cop story, of 2 friends forced into fatherhood.

Sheyenne swoops in with a demon busting spell from a flyer and all seems well in the UQ…except for those damn feral chickens and Vamps starting to go apeshit after drinking overpriced, high sugar, extra foam, triple shot, hoity toity blood lattes and the like.
Not long after busting the demon, the plot thread I was hoping in my Slimy Underbelly review would be picked up in this book is reintroduced.
McGoo’s ex-wife, Rhonda, calls and tells him to get to the bus stop just as Spooky calls and tells Dan the same woman called the Chambeaux & Deyer offices with a similar message.

And this is when we start unburying the heart of this particular book.
Dan throughout the series has shown how much he loves and cares for Robin and Spooky, but this little Vampire girl, Alvina, that is forced on him and McGoo by Rhonda (who Dan had a short affair with after the split), is different.
The love we see Dan, McGoo, Spooky, and Robin shower this poor little girl with is something new for the series.
It adds a whole new dimension that I never would have thought to ask for, but I’m glad we got.
And she isn’t the pain in the ass little brat that a once great TV show brings in to try and rebound after the ratings have dipped a bit too low.
She comes off cutesy, but confident.
Smart, but not in a way that suddenly diminishes everybody else to drooling idiots that can’t do anything without her.
And it’s not out of the blue, as I said, the groundwork was laid last book for this to happen.

Alvina is a social media/blog/brand obsessed girl sharing her experiences as a young Vampire stuck in puberty who may be Dan or McGoo’s daughter.
They aren’t sure whose kid she biologically is and, since she was turned DNA tests are now unreliable, they probably never will.
This is another one of the things I love about this series, learning and trying to figure out the rules of it.
I wonder how well KJA has thought this series and its rules out?
To use a TV term, if he has a series bible for it?
Either way, it is damn impressive.

When a nefarious and bloody plot against Unnaturals puts Alvina in a coma, shit gets real for Dan and co.
From that point on, Robin and Spooky sort of take a back seat to these 2 Dads trying to save their girl.
It works so well.

Sadly, the one thing all of KJA’s books seem to have in common is that they go by far too quickly.
Like Hair Raising (book 3 in the DSZPI Series, for those keeping track) I finished this in 4 days.
In my experience, he writes short, easy to read, potato chip like chapters that make you think “well, maybe just one more” until you’re sitting there with an empty bag (or a finished book) hating yourself for being a hog and not making the goodness last.

Trust me, gang, there is far more to this book that I haven’t even touched on yet, but I feel like I’ve rambled and slobbered enough, and I don’t want to spoil it all for you.
I can’t say for certain if this is my favorite book in the series or not, but it is battling hard and holding its own in the fight.
I implore you all to give this series a chance, buy one or more of the books, because money talks and I want many many more full length stories with these characters.
Until next time, thanks for reading.